The early days

We had all sorts of ideas and items listed on our birth plan, few of which happened. Try and stay philosophical and don’t dwell on the birth too much before hand. There is nothing you can do to influence the outcome so there is no point worrying. It will hurt but you will get through it and don’t be afraid or too proud to ask for pain relief if you need it. You won’t get a medal for going through the ‘natural birth’ and you will need strength and stamina left to cope with caring for the baby afterwards.

We did the National Child Birth (NCT) classes, which were very good, and also a great place to meet people. We stayed in touch with our group and they have all been a great source of support and comfort but we were fortunate, as not all groups will necessarily work out like that. It is good to be prepared and to have as much knowledge and techniques for dealing with the labour pain as you can and the NCT classes really help with this. We also did some NHS classes and they were useful too but if they are offered in your area you will probably have to book extremely early to get on them. There are also other good sources about labour and birth on the Internet and bookshops. See the further information page.

After the birth I felt like a train had hit me. I went through a difficult labour but my friends tell me apparently this is normal even for straightforward labours. Don’t expect too much of yourself and make as much use of the midwives and nursing staff as you can in hospital. If you are lucky they may offer take your baby off your hands for a few hours in the night. Take advantage of this if you can as you will need sleep and you will have enough nights coping on your own when you get home. If you are fortunate enough to get a room on your own in hospital then this is well worth having as you will only have to cope with the noise of your own baby, rather than the 4 or 6 present on a ward!

Take time out for yourself each day from the start. Take half an hour if you can to have a bath with tea tree oil each day as this helps with the healing process and also helps you relax.

You may feel tearful, and emotional as the baby blues kick in. You will most likely feel sore from the stitches. Take it easy, enjoy cuddling and getting to know your baby and let everyone else do everything. If you have friends and family then rope them in to cook for you, clean, shop and any other jobs that need done. Most people after a spell in hospital get time to rest and recuperate. Women who have given birth are expected to get on with the job of caring for their newborn from day 1. Include the disturbed nights and it’s not surprising if it feels like it’s all too much! Accept help if it’s offered and don’t feel guilty about it.

If you are not fortunate enough to have close support from friends and family then consider doing the following if you can afford it.

• 1 Get contract cleaners in twice a month for an hour to blitz the place. It is not that expensive and will be a massive help in the couple of months following the birth.
• 2 Shop for groceries on line twice a month and get whatever else you need from a local shop. If you can get milk and/or papers delivered it doesn’t cost much and is a big help.
• 3 Stock up on ready meals or cook a batch of meals before the birth and freeze them. We invested in a chest freezer for this purpose, and it is useful for freezing baby food later on. Otherwise get together a collection of easy nutrious recipes such as baked potato and beans to use in those first few weeks

Try not to do much at first. If that means retreating to bed for a couple of days then just do it. It is important to try to sleep when the baby does, as you will need the rest.

We really enjoyed having visitors but it can be tiring. Most people are sensitive to this and don’t out stay their welcome but if it gets to much make a baby related excuse and people should get the hint.

[Home] [What You Need] [The Early Days] [Feeding] [Sleeping] [Colic and Crying] [Nappies] [Socialising] [FAQ] [Books]